I Forgot How To Human

Anyone else struggle to act like a normal human being since they’ve had kids? I have no idea how to be a grown up that has regular grown up conversations with regular grown up people any more. Someone please tell me I’m not alone in this?

Every conversation I have with my husband ends with one of us saying ‘we can talk in 18 years when the kids move out’. Is this why I can’t have normal interactions with people, because I haven’t been able to finish a sentence in 6 years?

I bet there are some parents out there that are normal and talk about things other than their child’s poop (or theirs, because let’s face it, having a baby messes your insides up) or whether or not the dad in Cocomelon is hot? And if I ever meet these unicorn parents, what would I talk to them about? If they haven’t forgotten how to have a regular conversation, then would they even want to talk to me? I seem to only be able to talk about Paw Patrol and bodily fluids.

Seriously though, how do you talk to your significant other, or any other person when kids are around? I love my kids to death, my kids are my life, but I dream of just once being able to finish a sentence when they’re in the room.

And having a regular conversation isn’t the only problem, I don’t seem to be able to life like a normal grown up. Sometimes, I find time to run errands without a child or 10 in tow. Bliss right? Any normal person would relish being in the car listening to John Legend (or someone hipper if you’re not me) Apparently not me. I now spend my kid free car journeys listening to Encanto on repeat, and not because I forget to turn it off. Then I find myself waiting in line in the shop, swaying gently back and forth holding an imaginary baby, like a lunatic. Is this who I am now? An Encanto enthusiast who sways for a living?

Maybe as the kids get older, I’ll be able to have a full conversation again, or maybe I’m destined to be Half A Sentence Harriet, in which case, any future friends I make will have to be able to finish my sentences or read my mind. Either way, this is my life now, and I have to be ok with not being a regular human being any more.

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