Unless you live in a cave, most social media’s were down on Monday (yes I know it’s Friday but I have kids) for what must have seemed like a lifetime for most people, especially those perky Gen Zers!
People who I normally communicate with via whatsapp were sending me text messages like a regular old Jo. Even my mum, who seems to exclusively whatsapp, sent me an archaic text message (soz momma) Billions were cut off from their family whatsapp or messenger groups. I wondered, if I kept refreshing over and over again, some miracle would happen and I would be able to aimlessly look at post from random people I’m best friends with because of Facebook, just to find out what they ate for dinner and how their 3 month old baby can recite the alphabet, backwards, whilst standing on their head.
So it got me thinking, is this the beginning of the end of the world? Let’s put the past two years into perspective. Shit has gone down. And just as we think that shit is finally going up, it just isn’t, because social media went down, for SIX HOURS! That’s about a whole year in social media time.
Our country is selling out of everything. Christmas is on the verge of being cancelled because of supposed toy and Turkey shortages.
These are some #firstworldproblems. The whole country ran out of fuel because everyone thought we had run out of fuel so the most logical thing to do was to fill up shopping bags with all the fuel we were apparently short of. As I smugly drive past queues of people waiting to fill up on petrol from empty petrol stations in my husbands electric car, (because let’s face it, I’m not going to drive my diesel guzzling car when everyone is storming petrol stations) I cant help but wonder, will I be able to get my pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks or will it be sold out?
The only conclusion to this must be the end of the world is upon us. So if it really is the end of the world, what do we do? I have so many questions. Do we need to build bunkers in our homes? Tbh, I’m not a fan of going underground with no air. Will the last day be the day the oat milk runs out? It seems like the etiquette for the end of the world is to go out and panic buy everything. Shall we throw a Y2K party? Will we all turn into zombies?
So I hope the demise of Facebook for almost half a day on Monday isn’t the thing that’s going to push the universe over the edge. But just in case, if you need me before The Walking Dead becomes reality, you’ll find me wandering aimlessly around Sainsbury’s, definitely not stocking up on gluten free quinoa and chia seed bread and cashew milk. And definitely not hoping Bruce Willis will jump out of the plant based food aisle to save us.